Trip to Afghanistan

Dear IEAW Supporters,

I have just returned from a wonderful, fulfilling visit to Afghanistan. The first thing I must say is that CNN does not do that country justice! It is true that the buildings and land are half in rubbles. What are not shown in the news are clips about Afghan culture and people……..which I found myself focusing more on than the remnants of too many years of war. I spent time at each of our students' minimal apartments, with their families, and felt the warmth, spirit and generosity of which Afghans are known.

Day after day I would visit a couple of the families. I was a bit shocked to see where our students live. All of them live in different parts of a very large Russian built multiplex. The outside of these buildings show numerous pock marks produced by bombs and bullet holes. The grass and trees are gone and as well parts of the buildings are chipped off. The buildings are cement boxes, all the same. It was very confusing to find each students home since there were no numbers on the apartments. I was greeted repeatedly with an honorous welcome since education is a top priority for Afghan people. Always a ceremony of me praising each student and them going on and on with thanks for the impact that this education opportunity was having on their family.

The apartments were about 3 rooms for these large families of 4-7 children. I thanked every parent for letting their young adults travel to the States, and especially emphasized to the fathers that we knew that without their approval, their daughters would not be having this opportunity. Always, again in Afghan tradition, much food offered, and a pleading that I return for dinner so they would have the opportunity to feed me an elaborate dinner. I have pictures that will be in the next newsletter showing the families. I think you all will be quite surprised to see where our fabulous students come from! I did not expect the war torn minimal buildings since our girls seem so “middle class”. They are not: we Are giving them the opportunity of a lifetime! I could see very clearly the influence that this international experience is having on them and their families as a result. They are definitely leaders and role models in their modest families.

I want to tell you all a story about one home that I visited. This was one of the most minimal apartments, housing one of our most sophisticated and brightest students. As always I was met outside by the dad, and brought to the family. He did not speak English, similar to over half of the family members in general. This dad visited with us for a short while and then left the women alone in the room for the rest of my visit. When I left he was there again to walk me out. I found out later that he spent my visit with the driver, brought tea out to the driver for them to share. The driver always had to stay with the car to guard against bombs being placed inside. This dad represented Afghan people well…….they help one another, and status does not keep them apart.

I was always veiled out of my host’s home, respectful of a veiled culture, and also not wanting to be distinguished as a foreigner. My biggest problem was keeping the veils on since they kept falling off. I told the students that they must give me veil lessons when they return! Going about the city which my host recommended I not do, I noticed about 15% of women still in the burkha. I was given a gift of a burkha, and have one in my possession for you all to try on if you dear. Not only to they appear frightening, they are very restrictive feeling and your vision is not great at all.

I went shopping a couple times on the famed Chicken Street, which is the overpriced foreigners place to head for amazing Afghan jewelry, handicrafts, and all sorts of wonderful goodies. I took our students with me for the language and bargaining help, even though what I found was a street of many English speaking Afghan shopkeepers. What I did not find were visitors to Kabul, barely any Americans or others visiting the city, shopping on this very exciting street. Danger……..I had Chicken Street all to myself, representing all the outsiders that have decided not to visit Afghanistan yet. I certainly was the lucky one! Our students were very sophisticated shoppers and relentless bargainers. I was in the best of hands.

This was a great time to visit Kabul. Sousan asked me before leaving the States if she could get engaged this summer. Sousan is a junior, about 25 years old. I gave her my blessings which I found out later was the only way she would precede with the engagement. She knew that they would need to wait to marry until after graduation.

The engagement party was the week of my visit! All of the students were invited with their families. Sousan looked absolutely beautiful and her arranged fiancé is a very nice, bright young man.

The men and women partied separately in side by side rooms, never getting together during the evening. Each party had a band, dance floor, and incredible amounts of guests. I was told that people normally take out loans for these occasions to afford the event and the dowry that is necessary. Watching our girls together do a traditional dance for the whole hall to see, brought tears to my eyes. They are very graceful, and as we all know very beautiful young women. The IEAW has brought them together as sisters for life, which I heard repeatedly from all of them.

When it came time for dinner I was rushed into a separate room as a VIP, and was told that I would have the honor of eating dinner alone with Sousan and fiancé, with some of their family. Again, this told me the importance of education in the culture.

One of the highlights of the trip was the invitation to Paghman for picnic with a student and her family. My host, Fatima Gailani had not been to this area since she was pregnant with her daughter Homaira 25 years ago. This was her favorite place to visit as a child, known for the gardens, river, and mountains in the background. Over the years she saw the area shown on the news, war torn, gardens gone, desolate. She vowed never to return since the news clips caused nightmares in her sleep for years.

Paghman is about a 20 minute drive outside of Kabul, if the road was still there. We traveled for about one hour on dirt, rocks, dust, all up hill toward the mountains……….and spectacular mountains they are in Afghanistan. Fortunately they know to bring extra tires when traveling the route! We passed Unicef school tents on the way which rather stunned us. Fatima kept pointing out what used to be where in the good days, and was shocked that everything was gone, including the gardens, grass trees, waterways. That is until we reached the garden that this students father tends to each weekend. For the next several hours we sat under a large tree with flowers all around having the most memorable picnic of my life. Fatima was smiling at Paghman once again! The family brought enough food and variety for probably 30, even though we were a group of about 12, and the food was beyond great. I have pictures to show you all when we are together.

We took a walk to a river nearby that used to rage, but now was trickling. On the way we passed a nomad family with their cow. They were obviously close to starving, living outside, and feeding themselves by the products the cow could produce. They were having tea and some nuts and insisted that we join them to share the food and drink they had. Again, an import insight into Afghan generosity.

By the time we left Paghman Fatima was talking about sometime in the future rebuilding the home that they have there! What is left of the structure is almost nothing, but she had that vision once again of what could be in the future.

The night before we left all the families came to our home for dinner to meet each other for the first time! I feel emotional when I think of the scenes of the parents hugging and talking about their children’s educational experience in Dari. As always, the students were joined at the hip throughout the evening, and as always the food was a ceremonial extravaganza. Many different foods, prepared in interesting ways, lightly spiced and visually very appealing. I am still going through withdrawal since being home…….pasta, eggs and grilled meats and veggies just are not cutting it!

Interesting to have someone point out to me that after everyone greeted each other, the men all went out on the patio and the women staying inside. Fatima and I worked hard to mix things up, but we had a difficult challenge on our hands!

The night was very magical indeed. There I was for the first time in Kabul, meeting all of our students families, and at a dinner with us all together. What could be better? 

This visit to Afghanistan was an important trip for me. The families told me before I left that they now do not need to worry about their children in the States since they know these young women are in the best of hands. This was important to them and me.

They were touched that I traveled to them, and that I was open to learn and experience all the wonder of their culture, people and country. They send their thanks to each and every one of you for supporting their daughters in this education opportunity. Believe me, they cannot thank you enough!

I went to Afghanistan, I saw it with my own eyes, and I will go back annually now.

I encourage you all if you have the opportunity to travel to Afghanistan sometime in the future if the opportunity presents itself.

This was certainly just an overview of some of my experiences. We will talk more when I see you all. Thank you for being a part of this important initiative.

My best,

Paula